dear morning. i am pretty happy. drinking instant coffee in my artificially frozen one bedroom. so close to the green belt that i have only been to once. my dog is snoring in her leopard snuggie against me and music videos are on the tube. yesterday i got the amazing news that the boys in Liars & Saints all want me in the band. i said, "yesssssss" because i love those sweet men and they are everyone of them uber talented and wonderful and i have always admired each of them and now i get to write and play songs with them. i'm a lucky girl. i'm a liar and a saint! .sincerely

i am obsessed with this Reckoner Dress by Secret Squirrel.

the I'm Not Like Them collection = the loveliest chill.

it makes me want to picnic in a field of paper flowers..

on a cold day.. my winter white legs goosebumping..

lookie...

http://secretsquirrellabel.com/collections/im-not-like-them-2/?image=25

Holy

loss reshapes us

it cuts a new path through the high grass.

i am running down it.

blackberries

crushing under my feet

accidental wine making

thorns catching on my sleeves

ghosts reminding me

that i am still so fleshy

a human of holes

and thinning bones.

but still

some high and holy mystery

fuels me.

it turns out that boobs solve most problems.

hungry like the wolf

The damage

i stayed loyal to a liar.

he left an ugly stain

like spreading ink

and black water.

killing

all the pretty

young

and fancy lilies.

a phantom limb,

the ache comes out of nowhere.

and i run away

my heart a sick liver.

a stunned

and bleeding baby

a swollen lip

a fever.

my old flame

and my palms on the burner.

that long and lost year

in his corner.

The promise

i have learned so many lessons.

they have come at me

like knives-

me the spinning wheel-a-girl.

with the closed eyes.

determined to be experienced

i held a shimmy grip as i climbed

the authority of the wind

pulling at me like a riptide

leaving pieces of my insides

that i wore on the outside

on the mountainside.

i made a bed of rocks

and ran back towards the shortcut

only to find a desert

dried and moonless.

one set of footprints

one year of thirst.

i have been thrown.

trampled.

punched

and drowned.

dragged lifeless to the shore

and forced back down

only to jump in

the shark rigged water

the dark ring.

i crawl home again

bruised and bleeding

beaten.

but he is a gentle lesson.

a sweet reminder

that life is a kiss on the steps.

life is a constant beginning

it is unexpected innocence

it is.

innocence.

that you can expect

you never would have believed it

if promised.

which it is.

promised.

i promise you. you are innocent.