July 31, 2009

we each played a song. i had butterflies and sang too loud. i wanted tim (easton) to think i was really good.  i put everything i had into it and felt sad afterwards. but then went to breakfast with shilah and tim and i wasn't sad anymore.  i ate too much and got jittery from coffee...  kgsr morning radio.

July 20, 2009

sometimes hope hits me like lightning.
a heart attack.
a fast and stunning burn.
the truth 
a flash 
a crime
a departure
the smooth god
who charms me back 
to life...


July 16, 2009

I live in another world

Oh my head 

Blue stars. 

Blue ocean blue sky blue fish blue ponies’ blue forts blue ships. 

The man I presently love

Sleeps in a bed…  a rowboat.

We are one hundred feet from the shore.

Dry as dust.

And as always I’m twelve feet away

From everyone,

Reporting to myself, wait wait wait

For something to change

Someone to love me

More rain the alarm cancer

A plane medicine the internet


An exchange,  supper

He might say something, the bridge

End song.

Another song you begin.


July 12, 2009

i dream of horses
they blow through my sleep  
not a stranger in the herd
my oldest loves, my sweet grain 
... thick coats to hide my face in   broken out.

i never wish to wake
from such a rolling state
stampede, the tears wet my face
my oldest friendship,my pinfire
... still beating, teenage heart 
broken in

July 11, 2009

babies are heavy


My smartest hardest heart

Having been keenly crouching


My instrument

Spyglass and wine glass

Rings on the windowsill

This whole town unowned

Sprawling like a late child

Sprinting and framed

It hurts to see that trees were once asleep

It kills me



I don’t know how to tell you this…

I did this to myself

I’m out there somewhere

With my smartest hardest heart.