we each played a song. i had butterflies and sang too loud. i wanted tim (easton) to think i was really good.  i put everything i had into it and felt sad afterwards. but then went to breakfast with shilah and tim and i wasn't sad anymore.  i ate too much and got jittery from coffee...  kgsr morning radio.

nosey

sometimes hope hits me like lightning.

a heart attack.

a fast and stunning burn.

the truth 

a flash 

a crime

a departure

the smooth god

who charms me back 

to life...

hopeless

i can't hear you

I live in another world

Oh my head 

Blue stars. 

Blue ocean blue sky blue fish blue ponies’ blue forts blue ships. 

The man I presently love

Sleeps in a bed…  a rowboat.

We are one hundred feet from the shore.

Dry as dust.

And as always I’m twelve feet away

From everyone,

Reporting to myself, wait wait wait

For something to change

Someone to love me

More rain the alarm cancer

A plane medicine the internet

Results.

An exchange,  supper

He might say something, the bridge

End song.

Another song you begin.

Hum.

happy 

fucking

birthday.

still

i dream of horses

they blow through my sleep  

not a stranger in the herd

my oldest loves, my sweet grain 

... thick coats to hide my face in   broken out.

stall

i never wish to wake

from such a rolling state

stampede, the tears wet my face

my oldest friendship,my pinfire

... still beating, teenage heart 

broken in

babies are heavy

Instrumental

My smartest hardest heart

Having been keenly crouching

Diffident

My instrument

Spyglass and wine glass

Rings on the windowsill

This whole town unowned

Sprawling like a late child

Sprinting and framed

It hurts to see that trees were once asleep

It kills me

Cherries

Poison

I don’t know how to tell you this…

I did this to myself

I’m out there somewhere

With my smartest hardest heart.

 

 

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