December 24, 2009

December 20, 2009

the beautiful backyard i spent my childhood daydreaming in.  my father snapped this picture just this morning.  i would do anything to be there. i miss it so...
red gelatin leaves weighed the cold branches 
to curve
i saw things in my dreams. like this and like that.
like you and like him.
like nothing happened.
i saw a believer once.  sold for rain.  for winter.
for smoke rings and for teeth.
gnashing teeth.  
and i bid him fare freedom
and i saw it in my dreams.
how words dropped from words.. 
three became two 
became one.
I still know things.

December 19, 2009

i was born in a field. fully clothed. but naked on the inside. and disappointed. i was brought up on horseback. i had no men or women near me just ponies and faulty wiring. i eventually learned how to walk on my own legs, they showed me how the first time i fell off. i never ran.. not a mile or a day in my life. i believed every thing they told me and they told me nothing. eventually i had to leave the herd. i was so lonely. i ended up here. and there...

December 14, 2009

i'm thinking about things that have happened
furniture lived through
a backyard i called france
a wedding that i never planned for
a heartbreak that i was unprepared for

a million dollars
that ruined everything
your lion eyes never meeting 
mine mine mine

i'm thinking about things that have happened
since i quit the drugs
since i lost my horse and my house
my husband.

how love always feels like some great surprise to me
i never expect such lemon trees
with it's fruit falling and bruising around me
i thought about myself so exclusively
and i knew it and i'm sorry.