you are not what i expected. you have really screwed me over at times and then out of nowhere given me the most beautiful and precious gifts. you have made me laugh hysterically and then outlined my face with the creases of happiness. you have torn my heart out and left bruises under my eyes.. you have helped me to find soft kisses for those wounds. you have taken from me youth and replaced it with gratitude and acceptance. you have answered a few of my questions with questions. you have answered many of my questions with love. you have scarred my body and then led me to the most compassionate fingertips... they have traced poetry on my secret skin. you have dropped war in my lap and left me stranded to decipher the rules. when i was a loser you left me sticks to rewrite my story in the sand. you have never left me completely alone for too long. you made maps for me. you wrapped the best presents in newspaper and hid them in people. you left me clues..