March 31, 2010

he hurts me.
and i attack.
scared roving mutt
pound puppy.  wounded.
my little baby teeth
monster fangs to any piece 
of him   i can reach.
but i only hurt me.
he is stone 
stone and bone i think.

i'll always go off somewhere and get stronger.
that is what i do mother fucker.
and then i will love another.
so deeply and so much harder

and smarter.

he says he loves me.
he says, "you can feel it in your bones."

but i don't.
i just feel alone.
with origami promises
in my little dog-eared hand.

March 20, 2010

The girls are on the town
i have changed so much.
but i have not changed at all.
my life is a 360 
every degree 
a drugged destiny
my memory 
is drinking already.

i have corners in corners
in every four walled room
i wander through.

and there's so much that i would have done
if i didn't always need to lie down
the girls are on the town
they are all leg and eyelashes
strength and lip

and i remember how my best friend 
piggy backed me down main street
to catch up. 
people used to stay behind 
or carry me
like i now carry 
that lovely memory.
on my back watching tv.

March 6, 2010

but i have all this love!
love like a letter
love like an animal
a mother.
love that fights for you
love that kicks you when you're down
then cries out in your pain
some random and worthless truth.
love like a shadow
following you
like a fire
racing the boundaries
burning down houses
i'm stomping the ashes in your boots.
i have all this love
all of this impatiently waiting for you
and while it waits 
it turns 
into a thousand different shapes
searching for the secret door 
that it will finally fit through