Lush

i sink back

into the tank

where all heart is delivered.

wounds deepen

my voice becomes hoarse

like a child's voice

from crying out.

i found a diving board in you

faith

a form of pain relief

dumb luck

siting the page you arrived on

shirtless and kissing.

i've taken more than my share

but in the end time will even the wage

nothing is unfair

or everything is unfair. it's the same.

it's death then life then death then life

born into reborn and buried for that birth.

will my life be this grid of no i don't

but in that square i did

such drunken measurements

are on the high side again.

where is God when you are making these decisions kid?

where is God this morning?

simple ghosts

nail beds, tapping

shoulder, tongue, lips

the notes of a prayer

i can say anything

and everything here.

this dream is lush.

i was brave enough to say i do

and brave enough to say

i can't anymore.

paperboats

liars & saints, sxsw 2011

Was just thinking

laws of the universe are one size fits all. i thought this as i ripped the foil lid off of a fresh cream topped coffee flavored yogurt. a small corner of the foil remained and as i clumsily peeled it off it occurred to me that, "if i drop it, i still have two fresh cups left but in three days i will be thinking about this cup and how had i just been more careful i would have a delicious cup of yogurt waiting in my refrigerator for me." and then i thought about money and how it is the same way.. that when wasted or simply lost one always looks back and misses it when it is gone. and in a very different way then when you are just broke and have spent it all. waste is a powerful thing. your bones know it.

i had a good hard cry this morning watching a You Tube video of soldiers coming home and surprising their children. the faces of their deep love broke my heart open. one of those children was a golden retriever that bolted out the front door with absolute glee towards his poppa. it was beautiful. love is beautiful. love that is no choice of your own. love that owns you. love that you belong to. love that chose you. that is true love. and you are already in it.

Thoughts running through my brain

*i'm not sure i believe in the concept of Karma.

*will's idea of his being an asshole is so far from being an asshole that i can only smile and say thank you God.

*the best word in the world is... become. becoming.

*Target.

*i'm in a band i'm in a band i'm in a band... (this never gets old for me or less cool)

*ssooo tiReed