October 31, 2010

sweet deer---
muse of all muses.
dressing gowns---
grown man.
my dark eyed star
dark blue heart
i will sketch you
i will slur you
and sing you
you godly thing you.
i will hula hoop your smile
and bake you into bread
i will bathe in a river
crying your friendship---
crying our love
that was too hard for either of us.
i will wake up with your words in my mouth
they will be in another language.

my boy who lived with wolves
you came into my life
matted and wild
you would have slept in the trees
but instead you slept in a well made bed
just to sleep next to me.

October 30, 2010

the things i don't hold
have a hold on me.
i am reserved
for emergency.
my spare room.
i decorate it with sex
and music.
i disguise it with fashion.
with tigers and dreamers,
i drive a train through it.
i have no name for it.
oh wait.
it's emptiness.

October 27, 2010

i took everything off.
i wished things.
i buried jasmine under amethyst
i sewed the pockets of all my pants shut,
no secrets would i keep from myself.

but i lost control.
of the pain threshold.
of false hope.
i became violent water...
i turned you over
and as i held you under
you became wings
and flew away.

October 21, 2010

in the chance meeting of
lung to breath
forged a friendship.

sailed a long ship
rolled nose to nose
hope and hopeless.

sat the guru
a face
like a scarred moon
heart and wild cat
broken teething
and back to back.

a believer begins
in question.
a credo becoming

October 5, 2010

the outsider.
i don't care
if i'm within
the circle.

i don't care
if i'm heard.
or well known,
respected or

i don't care
if i'm invited.
or added.
or friended
and befriended.
or defriended.
i don't care anymore

if my ticks show
if my voice cracks
if i am stupid
or crazy or last
in a long line of fools.

i don't care
if the nerves show
if my face reddens
or if the hives grow.
i don't care
if my heart beats
through my fucking chest
so hard you can see it.
i will tear out this silicone ribcage
to show you the mechanics of loving this deep.
you can look... or not...
i just don't really care.

but i do really care about you.

we went on a robbing spree. we stole stars and clouds and patches of grass. we pulled apples off trees and slept in flower beds. at night electric trains circled our campsite. i washed my hair in a bird bath. louis took a rain shower. we made jewelry from hubcaps and soda pop cans. we french kissed under a sparrows nest and took naps in a fox hole.

and we never spoke. we only sang.

October 4, 2010

distance matched
a lit cigarette
glued to my ideas.
i'm telling you the truth so shut up.
already you run already you spit
small drops of tears of rain
of hurricane.
hang in there
but first. listen.
hang on to me.
please always
until i don't have a point.
until i am spinning out past the borders
until my makeup has disappeared
skin un-ironed.
the last of my crying a smudge on a sleeve
the last time i tried
you couldn't breathe
we were kicking and playing chicken
and reading
into things
it was great stuff.
you turned around and faced me.
you folded what was left of my heart
up under yours.
there is safety in numbers.


October 1, 2010

there are days. when i weaken.
when doing the right thing does not measure
up to the sofa cushion of your lips.
my ear against your chest
can hear an ocean.
an earth. a rotation.
a drum circle.
pulls me back in
there's a dance off
and you win.
and i'm your bitch again.
my slim rapper.
maybe i need you.