today is a kite
blue lips
many messages are spoken in cloud.
i'm alone.
i'm flying.
this sky machine
air underneath my feet.
gravity sucking the life
from me.

i don't know how to get back
to holding you closely

the breeze is beyond
and electronic.
i remember Autumn
so differently.
come white birch
in script,
back to me
back to me
trailrider.

i've stepped
back
into my skin


the deep end

a rough patch
disorganized hem
ill fitted yet

i can really move
in this

Of magic
You cannot prepare for magic,
it is an irrational disaster
of joy.

Luck's parade
is a marching band blowing up horns,
tumbling pop cans down pavement..
all flags.

This justice is for lovers,
a wedding of runaways
three to a hula hoop
nine to a star.

Magic is a circus,
a surprising shower of clowns
a pink stampede of horses
and sleepover clouds.

my first blue ribbon in black and white.

                                             love

i'm building a boat out of my heart.
a ship to voyage.
you are invited.
i will need your long arms for sails
you can be king
of the animals.
the maps are drums

the charts are in a lonely language
 i prefer being lost.
let's listen for direction
let's see in a blind faith
a twin compass of clouds.
no wind between us
everything behind.

Voices
the first time my heart spoke to me
it said things about god.
i was a little child.

before that my heart mostly mumbled
i heard it through a swaddle
then later in a very old and ugly man's lap
that was before fear of things like elderly lips
and dried spit and the thin skin of the ground calling
to a human that the end is waiting.
back then i didn't know why i loved.  just did.
or why i curled in the lap of death.  just did.   for a cuddle.
or why i wanted to feel wind on my bare chest.
just did.

after i became comfortable with the voice
it became my own.
and then i said a lot of terrible things
and then i sang a lot of pretty melodies
and then i told people i love dearly to go fuck themselves
and then i cried out loud
and very loud.
and then i laughed like in the movies.  the wild girl.
and then i told stories.  lies.   jokes.
i told men i loved them.  men i didn't love.
i told myself to be quiet.  but out loud and everyone heard.
i gossiped.  i whispered in class.  i told the truth.
i said i was sorry.  i said i was leaving.
i made promises.  i read bedtime stories.
i shrieked.  it was so scary.  i moaned his name.
i asked for help.
i told myself i was beautiful.  in a mirror.  in Indiana.
i told him i love him.  i love him.
i prayed.  the voice of a child.  the voice of god.
my heart.

"Write Him Off" recorded May 2012 at Flipnotics (courtesy of DaveTeeVee).  That's Ray Prim and Patrice Pike with me!